Everybody adores the pizza deliver guy! That is to say, they turn up in that spot on your doorstep with a steaming circle of mushy scrumptiousness, sparing you any exertion beside getting up from the lounge chair, all that is left to do is appreciate. Could you ask for anything better?
This kindhearted carrier of good vibes regularly gets a one of a kind understanding into the regular daily existences of conventional individuals – we will in general request pizzas when we are loose, upbeat and having a decent time. Tumblr client Tybaar understood that her activity yielded a flat out goldmine of extraordinary stories, and chose to impart them to the web. We are so happy she did!
From stoned youngsters to lesbians tipping with mammoth sacks of pistachios, you just never comprehend what sort of hungry soul is going to answer that entryway. Look down to look at this pizza conve lady’s abnormal and magnificent encounters for yourself.
“A hotel room full of badass middle-aged women all dressed as Professor McGonagall from the Harry Potter films, who were also completely wasted on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them.”
“An adorable older lesbian couple who were mortified that they didn’t have any extra money for a tip, so they gave me a big sack of pistachios instead. It took me three weeks to finish the bag.”
“At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice.”
“Multiple prank deliveries (joke’s on you motherf***er, I get paid for the gas AND I eat the pizzas you ordered.)”
“An incredibly stoned teenager trying and failing to look sober. When I complimented his Adventure Time wallet (which was super cute) and asked where he got it, he immediately looked terrified, sat down on the floor and muttered: “I… I don’t know….”
“A group of EMT’s hanging out in the back of an ambulance at a recently extinguished (but still smoldering) house fire.”
“A woman who slipped me a business card (in lieu of tip) for a laser tattoo removal clinic, explaining “In case you want to bring your mutilated skin back to how God intended it to be.”
“Obligatory naked man with an unimpressive penis.”
“A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash.”
“An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather classy) pearl-handled .32 snub-nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to load it (I do) and also, if I could load it for her (I didn’t).”
“A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door. He then explained how this was a federal offense because I was “obstructing the mail system” and demanded my social security number so he could “report me to the proper authorities.”
“An on-duty cop who flagged me down by intercepting me on the road before I got to the police station and pulling me over to get his pizza.”
“A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (I kept track) all about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me an extra ten bucks on a six dollar order. I dunno.”
“A surly Korean mom with an amazing shoulder tattoo of a baby giving birth to a full-grown woman.”
“A group of 20-something guys who challenged me to sing the original Pokemon theme song, which I did. And perfectly, I may add.”
“A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently was the “spitting image” of his deceased daughter.”
“A group of young teenage girls (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them.”
“A 20-something dude who answered the door with an unsheathed katana dangling through a belt loop on his jeans.”
“Multiple instances of people asking if I would sell them pot. (Bi**h get your own dealer sheesh).”
“A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote “get a real car” in the tip portion of my credit receipt.”